grateful

Sometimes I feel like I'm not grateful enough for Zack. I sometimes feel like changing diapers, cleaning up lunch, and giving baths are more of chores than something to be thankful for, and I have to remind myself I'm the one who prayed for him. I'm the one who begged for him and promised I would be the best mom in the world if I could just be pregnant and keep the pregnancy. Also, I wanted a boy. And I got exactly what I asked for.

Today Zack only took an hour nap. He usually sleeps for a little over two hours so I was feeling a little put-out he decided to wake up and I didn't get any rest time. Plus he was cranky the rest of the day because he was tired. Moral of story: I'm spoiled. Zack goes to bed at 8 and sleeps until 7:30. Then he takes a nap around noon until about 2:30. He NEVER wakes up in the night, and walks by himself to be put to bed. So, as you can see, I'm spooooooiled.

So, after nap we went to go get more fruit chews. We ran out today and, to be honest, my bargaining power seriously takes a hit when I don't have fruit chews. On the way there he threw a fit. Then in line he wanted some M&M's, and I thought they sounded pretty good too, so we got them. He screamed when the lady had to scan them, and then he didn't want me to have any. So, we fought all the way home, too.

By dinner I was ready to scream. Todd was going to be home in 30 min, and I needed to get everything done for dinner and in the oven so it would at least smell good when he came home. To help with this, I gave Zack his last juice box. I know he likes to squeeze them all over the floor. I know it's really, really tempting to do when I'm not looking. But I gave it to him any way.

And he squeezed his sticky juice all over the floor I just mopped during his one hour nap today which caused me not to get a nap.

You can pretty much guess what happened next. I got mad, and spent the next ten minutes wishing I wasn't mad. It was my fault. I knew better. And I'm not keeping my promise of being a good mommy by expecting a perfect child. Children are not perfect. That's what makes them so cute, right?

Having Zack is not a chore, it's a blessing. And I DO feel like it's a blessing most of the time. I really, really do. But then there are hard days, and I have to remind myself to be grateful. Be grateful for how well he usually sleeps, for his laid back temperament, for the way he usually loves to share with me, for his love for fruit and juice, for the chance I have to change his poopy diaper, for watching him splash in his bubble bath, and for watching him grow and develop more into himself everyday.

And I'm grateful for baby Brody and how everything has come so easy with him. Even though his kicks are getting dangerously close to my ribs, this pregnancy is still relatively easy and comfortable. I already refer to him as "my Brody" so if you are planning on holding him when he comes out, then good luck getting him away from me. I'm crazy possessive of this one for some reason.

So there you have it. I don't really expect many, if any, people to read this, but I just felt like I should blog this instead of writing it in my real journal. I'll try to post pictures later of Zack and my big belly, so stay tuned!!!

a little poem I didn't write

So, I found this poem in a magazine the other day and really loved it. Here it is:

Cooking and cleaning can wait til tomorrow
For babies grow up, we've learned to our sorrow,
So quiet down cobwebs, dust go to sleep,
I'm rocking my baby, and babies don't keep.

I love it mostly because it's true, and also because it now validates my slacking in the cleaning department. :)

But I will post the top four things I love, love, love about Zack at this time:

1) how he puts both hands on cheeks and says "Oh no!"

2) when we pull into a parking spot and I turn to smile at him, he already has a huge grin on his face. The kind of grin that gives him three chins, huge dimples, and exposes all his teeth. Love it.

3) how he grabs my face with his sticky hands, or puts me in a headlock with his chubby arms, and "kisses" all over my face. Really he's just shoving his face into mine and drooling, but I love it all the same.

4) his rad dance moves. Really, he can shake his booty better then I can. And what's even more amazing is he can find the rhythm to ANY song, no matter how crappy. Even Miley Cirus. (Not sure I spelled her name right, but it's really not worth googling....)

Next post I'll put up some pictures. Like of the huge piece of corn he shoved up his nose last night. Or of the ginormous scrape on his forehead that might have resulted in a minor freak out call by me to my mom because I thought he had a concussion. Yeah, those will be up soon. But right now I'm going to go to sleep so in the morning I'm not to tired to cuddle my baby boy while he'll still let me. Night, night!